2012-03-13

It’s obvious really

Having arrived on earth a few years ago from the planet Htrae, it has taken me a while to get used to the ways of your world. We use movement and light to power our devices, unlike the primitive methods of your planet of burning fossil fuels. As a result, I find your equipment difficult to operate. Last week, after spending several hours trying to understand how the radiator system worked, I eventually got out the directory and looked up heating repair ealing and got a man round to fix the rudimentary device.

You would not believe how frustrating this is for someone who comes from a species so much more advanced than yours! Using your methods it will take several billion years before you work out how to get to my planet. I think it’s safe to assume you will run out of your precious oil and gas before things get that far. I do want to help. I really do. However, I think it’s important for humans to learn things at a rate which is easy to understand. If I were to tell you all I know, you would be able to get things done quicker and better but it would blow your minds! You need to understand why you are doing something for the information truly to be useful. Otherwise, all that knowledge will be wasted on you.

Think about it. We give you the key to travelling at light speed through the universe which you grab with open arms. You get overexcited and within a year, you’ve destroyed the Milky Way by reversing through a black hole after taking a wrong turn at Pluto. You’ll get there in the end. It stands to reason though that you won’t get there at all unless you stop relying on a finite resource for your fuel.

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